郁闷

Confession : haha I not sure what's that 2 words in english are so.. yea :D
Well, finally I rmb to check out my Part A essay Assignment result today. It's 52/90!
Sucks sucks sucks sucks result to the MAX!!! I can't believe myself getting this type of shitty result like seriously! (Currently just in the mood of doing anything) Somehow I felt that I should have just stay back in Msia and study my Architecture Degree there. At least in Taylor's they call it Bachelor of Sc. (Hons) which is WAAAAY better than some stupid name call Bachelor of Environments!
WTF!! and now I'm getting this type of sucky result just making me feel even more guilty! I shouldn't have been fighting so strong minded of coming here at the 1st place. Why Msia dont regoconize any degree in Private Uni back in Msia?! Why Diploma in Taylors don't continue? I might have experienced much much more than in here!

I know I always have this feeling when I face some 挫折 which is SERIOUSLY damn bad! But I just couldn't help myself! =( Yes I know no one born perfect! Yes I know u gotta work hard to gain it! Yes I know all the life theories yada yada but yea I'm still like this!
I tried to be good but I seem to be falling down/at the same place! Not to say boosting but I used to have a way better result, way better personalities, way better working attitude, way better what-ever it is than who I am now sitting infront this laptop here! I seriously wish I could find back who I used to be. The hardworking, clever girl who used to be what I admire right now.
Or is it KARMA?
*Fingers cross* please please please! I just want myself to be hardworking to earn my good result back! I don't want to spent the money like that is like 败家子！！ I don't wnat the money to be spent for no purpose. NO! is I don't want it to be spent on SUCKS RESULT!
I want my result to stand out! To be proud of it!

Here I am writting this hoping things would have a change...

Smth random, 初恋这件小事(dunno how many times have I typed this on this night) It's a very nice Thai movie. The girls have very strong friendship btw!

To my frens back in Msia... I really miss all of you so damn frigging much! Maybe I really shud have just stayed back...